The Catfish Killer by Newton Webb
The Catfish Killer by Newton Webb
A Splatterpunk Horror Short Story: Jedd's careless catfishing triggers a catastrophic chain of events, plunges him into a nightmarish battle for survival.
I don’t normally do trigger warnings, but this story is a touch more extreme than I normally release. It is an attempt at classic splatterpunk. Let me know if it is too much, or not enough.
READER BEWARE!
TRIGGER WARNINGS: FatPhobia, TransPhobia, Murder, Mutilation, Gaslighting, Sexual Content.
2025, Essex
The sun was fading as Jedd flicked through the images of women on LocalDate. He peered through his spectacles, two-day-old ragged stubble failing to hide his leer.
Fat. Swipe left.
Short hair. Swipe left.
Naughty secretary look. Swipe right.
He gagged when a transsexual appeared on his screen. Jedd tapped the 'Report' icon, then chose 'Fake Profile.' The next photo appeared. Bikini, swipe right. A notification flashed up. 'Matched. Cheerleader2005.' Jedd immediately tapped to view and then sucked at his teeth. The woman had replaced her head with a giant yellow smiling emoji, but her body... Jedd felt his groin swell at the sight of it in the girl’s mirror. Who cares what her face is like with a body like that? He swiped through the photos. Every photo had her face concealed, but her body, well, that was barely concealed. Thot. He flashed a message over to her, [Hey, looking hot. Wanna show me your face?]
He waited, tapping his fingers against the side of his phone. Anger flashed across his face as he was forced to wait. Picking up his glass, he sipped at the water. Just as he was going to give up and write her off as a dyke, a message appeared. [Thank you, I’m a bit shy 🥺]
For fuck’s sake. [I bet you have a lovely smile. I’d love to see it.]
This time, the response was immediate. [You are just saying that ♥️]
Jedd rolled his eyes. A time waster. She was just fishing for compliments. Last chance, bitch. [Come on over. We could watch a movie and get to know each other. I have a really nice bottle of wine I’ve been saving.]
[I’d like that? But, can we take it slow?]
Oh yeah, like you are leaving here without getting fucked. [I just wanna get to know you. I really like your profile. You seem really cool.]
[I guess. You live close. When do you want to meet up?]
[How about tonight?] A nagging suspicion tugged at his mind. [Do you have any more photos?]
A series of photos appeared, sunbathing at the beach, driving in a convertible, drinking a cocktail. I meant without that stupid emoji.
Jedd angrily prepared another message. [You look gorgeous, but I really want to see your face. I’ve been catfished before. I know it sounds bad, but it’s only because I really like you.]
She started to type. Stopped. Started. Stopped. Watching his phone was an exercise in frustration. Finally, she replied. [I can’t… I am really insecure about my face. Maybe we could swap spicy pics instead?]
Jedd licked his lips. He raced into the shower, watching a pornographic video until he was fully erect, his small but angry-looking member jutting up in a rock-hard salute. He took a photo before looking at it critically. Loading up Artmaster.ai, Jedd attached the photo and asked it for suggestions to improve his photo.
The suggestions came back, and he grinned as he authorised them, watching as his belly turned to abs, his skin gleamed with oil, and his body hair was waxed. He entered in a prompt to make his cock bigger, then repeated the command until the screen was focused on a giant, thickly veined monster. By the time she sees it, it’ll be too late to back out.
He sent the picture to her and paced as he waited. This had better be worth it.
[OMG, that is crazy. And it is all mine? You are going to give it to me?]
Raising his eyebrows, Jedd replied. [It’s all yours, baby... Your turn 👿.]
A topless photo appeared. Still with the damnable emoji for a head, but the most impressive, flawless pair of breasts awaited him. His heart seemed to skip a beat. He immediately texted her his address and leant back in his chair, resisting the urge to beat his meat there and then.
Jedd was availing himself of his Jack Daniels. After three Jack and cokes, he was getting tipsy and had to push away the bottle. He still needed to perform, after all. Jedd was going through a dry spell; despite his best efforts, it had been over a year since he got laid. Everyone knew how frigid the girls were in his area.
He glanced angrily at his watch. Where is that bitch?
Biting his lip, he looked thirstily at the bottle of Jack and was about to give in when the doorbell buzzed. He clenched and unclenched his hands with excitement as he walked over to the door and peered through the peephole. For fuck’s sake.
She was wearing an emoji mask. His gaze lingered, though, as the rest of her body was covered up by a skin-tight PVC outfit. She wore a spotted swimsuit over the top, even though the PVC obscured any flesh. Her only accessory was a Hello Kitty clutch. You kinky bitch.
Well, if she wanted to be slapped around, Jedd was more than happy to oblige. The figure-hugging PVC showed everything with its–
She rang the bell again, causing Jedd to jump. He stumbled and banged his nose on the door, swearing. Standing up ramrod straight, he regained his composure and opened the door. “Hey, how are you doing?” He suddenly realised he only knew her as Cheerleader2005.
The mask looked down. “I’m okay, thank you, Jedd.” Her voice sounded nervous.
“What should I call you? I can’t call you Cheerleader2005.” Jedd stepped back and motioned for her to enter.
“Why not?” She answered, moving past him. As she did, she was sure to allow her PVC-clad buttocks to slide up his groin.
He moaned involuntarily as his eyes followed her into the room. Not so shy then. Why are all the hot girls mental?
“Can I get you a drink?” He smirked. She’d have to remove the mask to drink.
“Hmmm, yes. Thank you. I’ll have whatever you’re having.” She walked around his living room, looking at his DVD collections and magazines.
Jedd suddenly wished he’d tidied up. He went and made two Jack and Cokes. he paused. She seems pretty keen. Then decided that he couldn’t risk it. He picked up a small bottle and added a capful to her drink, stirring the contents with his finger. Picking up the glasses, he turned and jumped, spilling some of the contents onto his t-shirt. “Oh shit, sorry.”
She was standing right behind him.
“Someone is a little nervous,” she tittered, delicately stroking his chest with a finger. “What happened to the wine?”
“Yes, well, I don’t always get such a–Look, I don’t mean to be a prick, but that mask is really freaking me out. The–with the eyes all black like that, it’s like staring into a shark.”
Cheerleader2005 took the drinks from him and placed them on a side table. “Would you feel better if you tied me up?”
Jedd blinked. “Well, yeah, that would be magic.” Then I can tear off that fucking mask.
“We should have a drink first, so we can get cheeky together.” She giggled.
“Yeah, definitely. Yeah. That sounds great.” Stop babbling. Fuck, this is the weirdest date ever.
She reached for a glass.
“No, that’s my glass. It’s lucky.” Jedd tried to cover up his slip. He was so nervous in the presence of this woman; she was unnerving. Nothing like the dowdy cows he normally flirted with.
“You first, then,” she indicated the drinks, and he took his glass, drinking half of it immediately.
“Someone is a thirsty, thirsty boy.” She picked up her glass and clinked his.
He waited for her to remove her mask to take a sip. Instead, she put down the glass and moved to his CD player. “Do you mind if I put on some music?”
“Don’t you want a drink?” Jedd insisted.
“What’s the point of alcohol if you can’t dance?” She looked through his collection, flicking past the P Diddy and R Kelly until she found 2Pac’s ‘Me Against the World.’ “This’ll do.” She fiddled with his system until the beats started booming. “You have an excellent sound system.”
Jedd sat down heavily, watching the girl with frustration as she gyrated in front of him. “How about that drink, then?” He took another slug. “I’m drinking alone here.”
“Don’t you like my dancing?” She asked, giving him a flawless view of her butt as she moved, running her hands over her thighs.
Jedd exhaled. “I do like your dancing, but I’m drinking alone, and I haven’t even seen your face.” He tried a different tack. “I bet you have a lovely smile.”
She froze.
“Come on, let me see it. I bet you are beautiful.”
She turned around and tilted her head, regarding him.
“Go on. Let me see…” He slurred. I shouldn’t have had another Jack. Then, as if to prove the point, he took another sip from his drink.
“I do have a beautiful smile,” the girl said eventually. “I always smile.”
“See, I knew it. Come on then, take off that stu–that mask.”
She walked up to him and straddled his lap. “Okay.” She stroked the hair on his head as he looked up at her blearily.
“My ex-boyfriend cheated on me, you know?”
For fuck’s sake. Who cares?
“Oh no, that’s terrible. Well, you’ve found me now.”
“He said it was because I never smiled.” She reached up and took off the mask. “So I made it so I will smile forever.”
Bitch switched the drinks!
Jedd wasn’t listening. “Yer baych!” He slurred, trying to push her away, but his arms were weak and she easily moved his arms to one side.
Her face had two giant scars from the corner of her lips up to the top of her jawline. Metal rings lined the scars as if they were reinforcing them. “It didn’t make a difference, it just made him grumpy. That is when I realised he was just a liar. So, as a parting gift, I made him smile too.”
She stroked Jedd’s cheek before pulling a knife from her clutch.
“Now, I make all the liars smile.”
If you enjoyed this free short story, then please consider Tales of the Macabre, Vol. 1 or its sequel Tales of the Macabre, Vol. 2.
For more free stories, check out the links below:
Books You Can't Put Down: 101 FREE horror stories, including ‘Mind Games’, ‘A Portrait of Sin’, ‘Darius the Dazzler’, ‘The Girl in the Glass’, ‘Lassitude’
Chilling Reads: 53 horror stories, including ‘Tales of the Macabre, Vol. 1’, ‘Tales of the Macabre, Vol. 2’
Sweet screams!
Praise for Tales of the Macabre, Vol. 1
"This book was full of nail-biting moments. The book was full of variety that kept you engaged and wanting to read the next story"
"Newton Webb never disappoints. His debut collection includes most of his best stories, spanning a huge amount of time and going through a great variety of settings. Some are novelettes, others more of a typical short story length, always well written, with a fantastic use of the English language"
"These 16 scary stories are really, really good! My absolute favorites of the bunch were Festival of the Damned and The Heir Apparent (man, what a twist I was NOT expecting!)"
"This was a very enjoyable collection of eerily prophetic stories, full of variety and encompassing a world of demonic entities, cannibalism, ghouls, murder, ancient curses and deviant sex addiction. From folk horror to supernatural sci-fi tales, what more could you wish for? Each story slowly unfolds with a sense of unease and menace, complimented by many unexpected twists and turns. The moral theme of these stories would appear to be, 'be careful of what you wish for'. Highly recommended"